Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Scatagorically Speaking

After any form of weight loss surgery there are some things you are told up front to expect - gas being the main one. You are told to keep moving, get lots of liquids and focus on protein consumption ahead of everything else.

Getting two litres of liquids in is hard. I am now five day post-op and I still cant get past a litre in a day, let alone up to two but I am trying. It is all baby steps.

And everything post surgery really is baby steps. Putting clothes on, walking more than a few metres, having a shower (oh my first shower was so good I cried!), burping (hurt), farting and yesterday my first dump. Yes a bowel movement. My first in almost a week - liquid diets don't leave much behind.

But yesterday I had the best dump I think I have ever had. Better than any post bog grog (especially if I had been on scotch and cokes!). Better than the "why did I have a curry at 2am" poop. Better even than getting into the loo before your significant other does a shit that would would burn the nasal hairs off of a sewerage plant worker.

Now...I have to admit. I got a little excited. I giggled, called out to my beloved, crowed and bayed to the moon (well, the well risen sun, but that has not got the same poetry). And then I had a thought.

A very sobering thought.

I have 15 staples in my belly, and had to twist to wipe.

Only one words explains what was going through my mind.



  1. You make me giggle and laugh out loud! I love your blog so much and your blatant honesty is refreshing!

  2. I feel your pain... literally!! Love it!